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Understanding Satisfaction
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We’re all looking for happiness that is lasting. Yet, it often seems to elude us. We can find things to make us happy temporarily, but where do we find lasting contentment? This “satisfaction” we seek is how you finish this sentence: “I’ll be happy when I have ____ .” This desire of the heart for lasting happiness is a spiritual hunger.
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Examples of “Satisfaction” Idols
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Relationships
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Example
“There is only one happiness in this life, to love and be loved.” George Sand |
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Sensuality
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Example
“Don’t do drugs. Don’t be violent. Leave that to me.” Eminem |
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Possessions
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Example
“He who has the most toys when he dies wins!” |
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Activities
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Example
“I can't get no satisfaction… I try and I try” The Rolling Stones |
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Success
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Example
“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal. Not to people or things.” Albert Einstein |
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Physical Appearance
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Example
“What do I want to be when I grow up? Pretty.” Stopthebeautymadness.com |
Responses When We Don’t Find of Satisfaction
Since finding lasting satisfaction is so difficult, most people don’t find it. Always seeking, rarely finding. Here are a few ways people respond when they don’t find it:
IT'S STILL OUT THERE
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Young Approach
“It’s out there, and I’ll find it.” Often when we are young we assume that we’ll be happy once we get married – get that career – get that house – or whatever. This person is driven and hopeful that one day lasting happiness will come. |
Danger
Disappointment awaits. Marriage is great, but no person can make another person happy all the time or forever. A career is good, but once at the top – its just not enough. |
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Angry Approach
“It’s their fault I didn’t get it.” This response blames someone for the fact that they didn’t get what would make them happy. “If not for my lame business partner, I’d be a success right now.” |
Danger
Bitterness and resentment await – or worse, revenge. |
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Driven Approach
“I haven’t found it yet,but I’m still trying.” Years of trying thing after thing without finding lasting happiness – this marriage didn’t work, I’ll find another spouse, another job, another hobby. |
Danger
Eventually you look back to find a whole lotta emptiness. Nothing worked. Also, the many broken relationships make for much sadness, loneliness, and pain. |
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Despair Approach
“Something is wrong with me.” This person assumes they are unhappy because they did something wrong. “I’m not good enough,” – “No one would want me.” It is because of their choices that they are not happy. |
Danger
Discouragement, depression, and despair await – and probably medication. |
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Fatalistic Approach
“It’s not out there, stop trying.” When it is finally realized that true happiness cannot be found in anything this life offers some become cynical. Might as well give up. |
Danger
Cynicism and a condescending attitude awaits. You scoff at anyone that appears happy. Self-medication often results as well. |
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Detached Approach
“I’m unhappy because of my desires. Detach from things.” The Stoics and Buddhism both take this approach. The reason we cannot find happiness is because of our desires. Don’t love anything too much and you won’t be disappointed when you don’t get it. |
Danger
Love and intimacy are a significant part of being human and experiencing life. This approach dehumanizes us. We can become cold – dead inside. |
We have desires nothing on earth can satisfy. We think we’ll find lasting satisfaction in “things,” but we won’t. This is something we often assume is out there – eventually we’ll find the satisfaction we seek. The truth is that we cannot find it in things of this world.
"Creatures are not born with desires unless satisfaction for these desires exists. A baby feels hunger; well, there is such a thing as food. A duckling wants to swim; well, there is such a thing as water. Men feel sexual desire; well, there is such a thing as sex. If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world.“
--C.S. Lewis
(Mere Christianity, Bk. III, chap. 10, "Hope")
--C.S. Lewis
(Mere Christianity, Bk. III, chap. 10, "Hope")
What to Do About “Satisfaction” Idols
Remember, worship means to give worth to something. When we depend on something we attribute worth to it. When we depend on something other than God for our satisfaction we are saying, “I trust in (my spouse) to make me happy.” – for example. In this scenario there is a tremendous amount of worth (and pressure) attributed to the spouse. This is worship of an idol.
So what’s the solution? Well, its actually not that complex. The lasting happiness we seek needs to have these characteristics:
So what’s the solution? Well, its actually not that complex. The lasting happiness we seek needs to have these characteristics:
- Love from a person is what truly satisfies
- It must be from someone you highly respect
- Love from someone who knows you deeply and loves you anyway (Romans 5:8)
- Love from someone that you don’t have to perform for to gain their love (Ephesians 2:8-9)
- Love from someone you cannot lose (Matthew 28:20b)
- An undeserved love
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The unique love of Christ is what truly satisfies. This is our very purpose: to love God and enjoy Him forever. It is a response to the love He showed us on the cross.
It is okay to love things in life – but when we depend on those things for happiness, it is idolatry, and it does not satisfy. We are left empty. |
process it
The approach I tend to take when it comes to happiness is...
My first step in finding satisfaction in Jesus is...
My first step in finding satisfaction in Jesus is...
questions to identify potential idols
•What do you feel like you have to have to be happy?
•What would you have a hard time giving up for a month?
•What do you do when you’re stressed out and/or depressed?
•What do you do to avoid doing the things you don’t want to do?
•What do you think about in the middle of the night or when you first wake up in the morning?
•What do you spend a lot of time on each day?
•What do you talk about too much?
•What do you spend time doing when you’re done with things you have to do?
•If what you named was taken from you, how would you react? If you would have a hard time with it, it may be an idol.
•What would you have a hard time giving up for a month?
•What do you do when you’re stressed out and/or depressed?
•What do you do to avoid doing the things you don’t want to do?
•What do you think about in the middle of the night or when you first wake up in the morning?
•What do you spend a lot of time on each day?
•What do you talk about too much?
•What do you spend time doing when you’re done with things you have to do?
•If what you named was taken from you, how would you react? If you would have a hard time with it, it may be an idol.